A love letter to San Francisco
Q: How do you bid adieu to a city that has your heart?
Disco Dialogues is a newsletter and interview series where Kinnari and Mitali engage in deliberate dialogue aimed to spark inner growth. Our posts start with a question to encourage reflection on topics ranging from creativity, courage and curiosity to self-care and relationships. The hope is that by sharing the dialogues that we have with ourselves and with each other, we can start meaningful conversations within our community.
Kinnari’s Dialogue
Last week we moved out of San Francisco. It was hard to make the decision to move - I have loved and lived in this city for 20 years. It is where I became an adult and have celebrated all of life’s big milestones. During my time here, I formed deep friendships, started a career, met my husband, bought a house and became a mother. San Francisco has been the backdrop to all of these identity changes. So it’s not a surprise that the day before we moved, I sat in my car across the street from our house and shed a few, okay a lot of tears as scenes from the last two decades flashed by.
I moved to San Francisco from Arizona at the end of the summer in 2004. My Craigslist post looking for a rental had something about wanting a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Ellen, my soon-to-be roommate, responded with "what about the Bay Bridge instead?" So I moved into a loft in SoMa into a windowless room for a view of the bridge from the rooftop. I felt like I had won the lottery. I spent many hours walking on the Embarcadero in the late evening feeling so thankful that I lived in such a stunning city. That feeling of awe while gazing upon the twinkling lights of the Bay Bridge over the beautiful bay saved the twenty-something me especially when I was lonely, lost or troubled.
After a couple years of the windowless room, I moved into a house in Potrero Hill with my friend Praniti and her sweet yellow lab Elmi where I learnt to be a grownup and host lots of dinner parties. Two years later, I moved to the Mission - a block from Dolores Park. My housemate Preeti and I were both single then and wanted to be in the middle of all the action. We spent countless hours on the weekends at Dolores Park along with other friends. It was such a scene back then. Both of us went out on many bad dates and some good ones and wondered if we were ever going to find a partner. And then Preeti moved out and Sharon moved in. Try living with a therapist as a roommate if you want to see some personal growth. Sharon challenged me in ways I hadn't been challenged before. We did Burning Man, Coachella, Thailand, New Orleans and so much more but we were always thrilled to be coming back to our home, our sanctuary in San Francisco. It was in the Mission that I turned 30, finally getting a taste of the freedom that comes from letting go of the expectations that my parents had of me. That I had of me.
Due to our proximity to each other in San Francisco, M and I saw each other’s profiles. I swiped right and met him for a drink on a Tuesday night at a bar called The Sycamore. I thought it was going to go nowhere. But having no expectations led to MAGIC. A year before we got married, we moved into a hundred year old Victorian house in the Haight. Surrounded by the Buena Vista, Panhandle and Golden Gate parks, I fell in love with San Francisco all over again. I was happy to have aged out of hipster Mission and embraced the true beauty of the city - her parks and her views. Each neighborhood in this small 7x7 city defines a completely different and unique experience. It was in the garden of our house in the Haight that we celebrated our engagement, our wedding, M’s 35th, my 40th, my father’s 75th and so much more. Most importantly it was where we became a family, welcoming the arrival of our two little girls. With its proximity to gorgeous parks and playgrounds, Ocean Beach and our beloved preschool (Pacific Primary), the Upper Haight became my favorite neighborhood.
I don’t think it matters if you moved to San Francisco a month ago or have been living here for 20 years. Coming into the city from the north through the Golden Gate Bridge or the east through the Bay Bridge, or just walking around its parks and hills, or watching the fog roll in, or attending one of its many festivals, there will be moments where you catch your breath and thank the Gods that you somehow found your way to San Francisco. It is one of the most magnificent cities of our world. New York has its energy. Mumbai has its chaos. Paris makes you want to dress up. London feels like the center of the world. Athens and Rome are steeped in history, while Berlin seems young and rebellious. But San Francisco? San Francisco is good for the soul. It is gentle. It is inspiring. You will be accepted…no matter who you are. Just remember to wear some flowers in your hair :)
So long San Francisco. Thank you for the last 20 years. I’m so glad I found you. We are not going to be too far but it won’t be the same. Yes you changed but I changed more. You’ll always have my heart.
Gorgeous writing, Gorgeous city, gorgeous woman!
Kinnari.. we have never met.. but I know you from your writing and I was spell bound by each word of this note.. I have never been to San Francisco but seen it and lived it through your writing.. thank you