Easing back into our rhythm
Easing back into our rhythm
Q: How do you reinstate an essential practice?
Disco Dialogues is a newsletter and interview series where Kinnari and Mitali engage in deliberate dialogue aimed to spark inner growth. Our posts start with a question to encourage reflection on topics ranging from creativity, courage and curiosity to self-care and relationships. The hope is that by sharing the dialogues that we have with ourselves and with each other, we can start meaningful conversations within our community.
Mitali’s Dialogue
This year I have fallen off the routine of writing regularly. Whether it was personal journal entries, scribbles in my notes doc or sending Kinnari emails, I stopped doing any serious writing. Excuses were a dime a dozen when it came to reasons for why I wasn't writing - I am depressed, I am tired, I am busy, I am traveling. Usually my writings end up becoming fodder for my Disco Dialogues posts. So without a consistent writing practice, I fell short of my commitments to publish this newsletter regularly.
After returning from my summer travels in August, Kinnari and I had a conversation on how to get back into the routine of publishing every two weeks. Over the next couple of weeks, we started working on inspiring each other, nudging ourselves towards the practice.
Here are some of the things I am trying to revive a routine I dropped.
Reminding myself of my “why”
“...Disco Dialogues is our experiment at sharing our dialogues with ourselves, with each other and with you. We hope to offer you, our dear readers, lines and ideas from books, poems, articles, and conversations that are influencing our thoughts.”
This is what we shared in our first post back in November of 2021. By revisiting the reasons we started Disco Dialogues, I was reminded of the need to honor the sacred space we have created with our words - a space where we dialogue with each other and with our readers.
Creativity happens after I fill my bucket
Writing is so much more than sitting at a computer and expecting the words to flow. Writing comes much more easily when I make the time for nature walks - observing the life around me and the thoughts in my head or when I connect with friends or engage in conversations with strangers. This is how I stumble upon a different perspective or a new way of thinking that then inspires my writing.
“A lot of writing consists of waiting around for the aquarium to settle so you can see the fish. Walking around muttering seems to hasten the process…Don’t listen to anything but natural sound. Don’t look at anything you have to turn on. This is about the pleasure of silence. This is not meditating; this is reacquainting yourself with yourself. Something interesting might enter your head if you let it alone.”
- Abigail Thomas, Everyone has a story to tell
Learning from others’ journeys
Reading about the practices and challenges faced by other writers helps me realize that falling off is part of the journey that a writer must take. It also gives me ideas on how to get back on the horse.
"Finding a rhythm and a rhyme to our research is an art form in itself… We can invite in a sense of discipline to the practice of sifting through what we notice, so that it may become something for the people, not just for ourselves…What is to stay in the morning pages, the lists, the diary? And what is to come to the forefront for our readers to delight in?"
- Cody Cook-Parrott, Echoes of Self
Knowing when to say no
And probably most important of all is making the tough call to say no to things in order to create time and space for the routine that is important to me right now. There are only twenty four hours in my day and that means some people, requests or desires are going to be disappointed and that’s ok.
“I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still.” - Sylvia Plath
Kinnari’s Dialogue
This week my husband and our two girls are leaving to go see their grandparents in Tunisia. I’ve spent hours thinking about whether to join them for a few days or sit this trip out completely. There are many reasons to go - a family vacation, seeing my dear in-laws, celebrating my husband’s milestone birthday, attending a cousin’s wedding and the beauty of an expansive sky stretching over the deep blue Mediterranean Sea.
However, there are also reasons to not go. They come down to two things - rest and routines. I’ve been tired ever since baby L arrived in our lives in August of 2023. On top of that the last two months have been really hectic with packing, moving and settling into a new home. Why not take this precious time to slow down? I can use the non-working hours to rest, read and write, take long walks and have a weekend filled with doing a whole lot of nothing.
I have been a maximizer all my life - so there is this voice inside that says I can do both! I can have a few days here to work, to rest and write and also join the family and catch the end of the summer! I can catch up on reading on my long solo flight there. Even as I write this I’m conflicted. To go or not to go?
Every mom friend I’ve talked to has said “Don’t go. Take the time for yourself.” Because only a parent knows how precious alone time is. Instead of waking up to a crying baby who needs to be fed and changed, I can have quiet mornings to enjoy the dappled light streaming in through my window. I can gently ease back into my routines. I can be disciplined and show up to write instead of waiting for inspiration that is fleeting. Or I can stay up late and watch movies and drive into the city to see music or catch up with friends. Do you see how easily I can convince myself?
I’m leaning towards not going but don’t have absolute clarity yet. I’m going to see how I feel for a few days after they’ve left. I shed a few tears last night and this morning while holding and hugging my girls, already feeling the sadness at the thought of not seeing these faces that I love more than anything in the world every morning and every night.
But I’m going to sit with the discomfort of being alone, of prioritizing myself over being there for the family. I want to see how that feels. Who am I when I’m not being a mom? I might need to give up on family time and fun for my longer term goals - one of which is to become fitter and the second is to write more. And in order to write more, I need silence to listen to the rhythm of the words and ideas that pop up in my head.
“Beneath memory and experience, beneath imagination and invention, beneath words, there are rhythms to which memory and imagination and words all move. The writer’s job is to go down deep enough to feel that rhythm, find it, move to it, be moved by it, and let it move memory and imagination to find words.”
- Ursula K. Le Guin, Conversations on Writing
So dear readers, tune in for our next post to see if I ended up being disciplined with my alone time or if I packed my bags and boarded a flight to Tunisia or maximized by doing both. Write to us about the struggles you face with getting back to your routines - whether they are about writing or something else entirely. Or share with us what you are saying no to in order to get to your bigger Yes.