Reflecting at the close of the year
Q: What word describes your inner experience of 2024?
Kinnari’s Dialogue
It’s that time of the year again. We are a day away from Christmas and the schools are closed, the kids are home and we are all attempting to get into a relaxed and joyful state. It’s also the time of year for our annual reminder to our readers to take a little bit of time to look back and reflect. We’ve shared various methods over the years - the long and short annual review here and talked about some practices here.
This year we decided to have a conversation with each other about our reflections before writing this post. Our discussion centered around the following five questions:
When did you experience moments of aliveness?
How did you make yourself proud?
What limiting beliefs have you shed?
What word describes your year?
What word describes your inner experience of the year?
This year for me has mostly been about Home. Both - my own home which is my body and mind, and the physical house we live in. I’ve consistently worked on both and feel great about where I’m ending the year. At the end of last year I still felt a bit broken and very weak after having a baby at age 43 and barely sleeping the first few months after her arrival. I do not feel this way anymore. There is still work to do but I feel a lot stronger within. Stronger and hopeful. And as we all know - hope is everything.
We also made a huge shift and moved out of San Francisco to Palo Alto to live closer to family. My moments of aliveness have certainly happened during my travels and time in nature but there have also been a lot of sweet simple moments in our new home that will stay with me. I still remember that first weekend after we had moved. All our stuff was still in boxes. My husband and I were taking a break in the backyard from unpacking. It was a warm summer evening and little A was riding around on her scooter from one end of the house to the other with baby L trying to follow. M and I were both exhausted from the move but we felt happy. We marveled at how easy it already felt with the girls in the new space and felt giddy (if one can believe it) about a move to the burbs.
What are the shimmering moments from 2024 that will stick with you? What are the memories that flash through your head and warm your heart when you think about them? It may have been a challenging year for many of you, but can you find a few joyful moments as you sift through the year? What can you take pride in? Put aside all those thoughts of all the things you haven’t done or still need to do. Now is not the time for that. Now is the time to sit back and feel grateful for all that has been, for all that YOU have been this year. Now is the time to pause, reflect on all the good stuff - the big and the small.
“You get to choose how you interact with the world and the meaning you assign to your experiences. You can choose your state of mind. You can choose to shift to an empowered state”
- Tony Robbins, How do I change my state of mind
Mitali’s Dialogue
When did you experience moments of aliveness this year? This was the first question that was asked of participants in an end of year reflection workshop by Nataly Kogan of The Awesome Human podcast. The question really resonated with me as one of my practices is to pause and recognize moments of joy in my day. As I looked back on the year, all the awe-filled memories came rushing back - moments spent with people I love and moments of solitude in nature.
Watching the monsoon rains in Pawna Lake in India, engaging in a deep discussion about our dreams with my partner on a beach in Koh Samui, admiring the play of birds on a nature walk through the Baylands near home, dancing with friends in the sand celebrating a birthday - each of these moments kept me in the present and filled me with gratitude. Taking the time to reflect on these memories spread across the year gave me a deep sense of appreciation for the life I have built and the way I have lived. I may have spent a third of the year in a depression episode but I didn't let it rob me of moments of feeling alive.
Last week when Kinnari and I did our in-person session it brought deeper insights into my year. I shared the one word that described my inner experience this year - self love - and as she inquired into that word, it brought awareness to the journey that I have been on for the past couple of years. Two years ago in my year-end reflection on Disco Dialogues, I wrote “...[I] often forget to do the last one - Love yourself. It seems like simple enough advice. Why do I struggle some days to find the good in what I do?”. Twenty four months later and I finally feel like I have learnt how to do this - to take care of myself like I take care of the loved ones in my life. Paying attention to what I need, being kind and gentle with myself, praising myself for the big and small wins in my life.
I share this because sometimes our expectations of ourselves are too high or we get impatient or frustrated when we don't see progress quickly. Reflecting can lead to disappointments if we fail to see the big accomplishments of the year that we can post to social media. But discussing my year with someone who creates the space for honest inquiry, gave me an opportunity to see how the small weekly actions over the years have had a big impact on my personal growth. Growth happens in spurts and often can only be seen when you widen your aperture.
“Wealth can bring comfort and security in its wake. But I wish we were taught to place as high a value on our time as we do on our bank accounts – because how you spend your hours and your days is how you spend your life.” - Nilanjana Roy
In this last week of 2024, reflect on your year with someone that creates the space for you to show up as your true self. You might be surprised at what else gets revealed when you engage in an honest conversation.